Rain

i just felt like writing...and it is so great that we can open up a blog so easily and so simply :)

its raining outside..and being me is very hard...more so if you are driving back in the rain listening to light and easy..and then, things come to my head, things i wish i'd never knew... how i wish...i was just like everyone else.

if it was to happen, that i'd never get what i always dream of, perhaps, well, it is fine. i just wish...things were much more simple than all this.

I'm very sensitive during the rain. Things come to my head, thing i so wish i never knew, things that would make me cry, how i wish...how i wish...

i give up:)
thats the only thing i can say... i really don't know what has been happening to me..
everything was amazing, perfect, wonderful. i went out with my fellow franky's last night..people i met online that i consider my own family, amazing fun people :) we drove all the way to melaka and steven was really nice to treat us all satay celup and a very delicious cake! we celebrated daniel's and josh's birthday! steven was the only one who turned out exactly like my imagination. josh ended up becoming such a big tall guy! haha..

piggy was certainly amazingly cute and sweet:D she looks 4 years old, ok no, 4 and a half. then steph was hot as usual:P haha.... was fun, really, despite the stress the exam does to me, i really enjoyed myself:) i have amazing friends, new, old, and an amazingly special friend who keeps me company all day long, thanks a lot von :)

i'll be better...writing makes me feel better. it will be...if i just continue writing and don't stop, i will be better. i hate the rain. i hate myself. i just want to go to sleep not knowing what is going to happen tomorrow. i'd so wish that i can just not hate the rain. Why am i like this, i do not know.
i.... i wish for so many things....
i just wish...pls..let me sleep. i don't want to wake up crying anymore...i don't even know why am i hurting... there is this big stupid wall right in front of me, and i cant see what is on the opposite side. but seeping out of the wall, little by little, there is so much sadness in it, so much pain.

its not me...isnt it? i sort of knew it.... i am surprised myself. Never thought it was still possible to know that you were sad...i'm tired... i'm sick of everything happening around me...

the entire world is full of evil... and i've only seen the outer layer of it. How can i take more pain? i never knew i am so weak... i should be fine when it involves myself..but i somehow find it more hurtful to know that those close to me are hurting.

Some people do not deserve to suffer. What did they do? god is such an idiot... why can't he punish those that are evil and leave the nice ones alone? they do not deserve it at all. And to make things worst...i cannot do anything.

if such is true...then...so be it. I'll be beside you when you are lying down on your bed...i'll be holding your hand.And doesn't matter how, i will make you smile...smile, till the very end. It is the only thing i could do. I just wish i never knew it.

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life

~The Fray
How to save a life