to my wonderful friend,
I dont know if you actually know how much you mean to me. Yes you are my best friend. Yes i cant wait to see you. Yes i have never hugged you but i look forward to. You are my emo buddy, someone who shares many thing in common with me, someone i can talk to who doesnt mind me being emo. and most importantly, someone who cares for me.
but here are a few things that you should know about how important you are to me. I never told you this before, well, i am too shy to even admit it.
you know how at times you compliment me? How you said that i can snipe the best ? How i am your favourite admin? how i do a good job in so many things? those things you say, really push me forward and give me so much more confidence. I dont know why, others tell it too, but when you do, i feel so much more special.
I told alexis actually about how you think i make an amazing guy ( or something like that), you should ask her how excited i was! what you tell me, really boost up my confidence, it really makes me feel very special. and for some apparent reason, only you have this effect on me. Others compliment me, clarissa, lelani, eric, risham, alexis, but everything they say doesn't really
make as much impact to me as you do.
I need you darling, a lot more now.
Eric said he wants to leave, he deserves it. i know this time would come, that he needs a break for himself. i just never thought prince would leave together. I was willing to do more work, but i was hoping prince would be there too. when eric suggested me to be the next triumvir, i told him, i don't think i can do it. I told prince i have no confidence at all. they both said they have confidence in me, and i can do it. but honestly, even until now, when i think about it, im so afraid. i really dont think i can do this at all.
i really need you. i need you to stay beside me and know what im doing. i need you to tell me " good job vish sweetheart, you did well". i need you to be there to talk to me when i screw up. i need you to come to me and give me a hug. i need you to be there for me, to help me boost up whatever confidence i need :(
if you do go, you wont know the things i do. you wont know how i screwed up. you cannot be there for me oishee.
i beg you one more time, i need you so much. please be here with me.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
This would be my present :)
To an amazing girl,
To my favourite emo buddy,
To the ever energetic person,
To the person who is capable of making me smile,
To the psychic who knows i'm online even when i'm appearing offline,
To the incredible fight wall spammer:P,
and most importantly,
To one of the BESTEST person i have talked to online,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY OISHEE :)
PS: sorry, wish i could come up with something better. maybe next year :P
To my favourite emo buddy,
To the ever energetic person,
To the person who is capable of making me smile,
To the psychic who knows i'm online even when i'm appearing offline,
To the incredible fight wall spammer:P,
and most importantly,
To one of the BESTEST person i have talked to online,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY OISHEE :)
PS: sorry, wish i could come up with something better. maybe next year :P
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Of Movies
Im not at home right now, at my grandma’s place, no decent internet connection, I cant do anything much here. It sucks that I can’t sleep. I can’t go online, and I was in such a rush to come here, I didn’t bring along any storybooks either. And when I cant sleep in the night, my mind starts wondering and I become emo, again and again. This is worst than how it was before I played FC. At least before all that, I still talk to tootoo most night, ( then, sue talked to me once she found out about it) and if I want to,I can always drive to genting. Driving there gives me a certain exhilaration, it takes away my emo-ness. I cant do all that here, and what did I do to keep myself occupied in the night? I bought movies, and of all movies, I bought the holiday and 50 first dates.
THE HOLIDAY! I mean, I really don’t know what I was thinking. I watched that movie before, its an amazing love movie, and I know, watching it will only make me more emo. I knew all that, and I still bought it. Even though Jack Black and Cameron Diaz was in the movie, my favourite actor is actually jude Law! He was actually a real gentleman, kept his composure and his jokes are classy, a ladies killer yet a responsible father! Perhaps, just too perfect, that no one like that would exist :P but watching that movie, and the character played by jack black and kate winslet both fell in love with someone who isn’t nice at all. ( nice, you said I use the adjective way too much. Sorry princess, I love that word:P). the know they fell in love with a mean bad person, yet, it is so hard to not love them. Love makes you go crazy, makes you do illogical things, it takes away all logic and reasoning, it makes you….blind.
Speaking of love makes you do crazy things…take a look at 50 first dates. I haven’t watched that movie before, its an amazing one now that I did. Again, this one made me even more emo. It just goes to show how much a guy is willing to do for a girl that he loves. So much sacrifices done by him, and even though he knows her memory might never return to normal, he never gave up. And yet, after all that he has done, she comes over one day and says, “ im breaking up with you”. It was in my honest opinion, cruel. Yes, she has a point, that her memory condition will prevent him from achieving his dreams, and it will only make his life harder every single day. But, that doesn’t give her the rights to decide what is good for him. She wants it so that he will be happy, but hey, did anyone ever ask him, what is it that he really wants? Maybe, all those dreams and ambitions of his, are not as important to him as her love. It could be just that simple. Just those lines like “ im not good enough for you” and “ you deserve someone better” actually really makes me wonder…did we ever ask for anyone better? No.. sometimes, you don’t have to be an amazing person…you just need to be you.. and for being yourself, someone will love you unconditionally. There is never an explanation for love, again, no logic or reasoning to it.
Love, can be truly amazing. I know if I want to, I can kill love within me, but it was so hard for me to even remember how love feels like, I don’t want to ever forget it again. I wont forget love, despite all the emo nights I have to go through, it is worth it to remember how love feels like.
The way you get to hold the person you love.
The way you whisper “ I love you” to their ears
The way you look at them and ask them every single time, “ how did you ever get so beautiful?”
Or
The way they react when they see you and didn’t expect you to be right in front of them.
The way you look at each other when she gets on the train back.
Waiting by the phone, for a text message to say “ hey I’m back, I miss you”
And
The times you have to think of more ways to surprise her
The dreams you had, and you call one another to talk about it
“ pls stay, 5 more minutes” …and perhaps, that will always be the sweetest line you ever want to hear. That mere 5 minutes, can make so much of a difference
And certainly
The way you kiss each other goodbye, and walk away on a different path, only to turn back again, to smile, and wave.
I miss all that. Yet, I know I can never love again. Never, again.
THE HOLIDAY! I mean, I really don’t know what I was thinking. I watched that movie before, its an amazing love movie, and I know, watching it will only make me more emo. I knew all that, and I still bought it. Even though Jack Black and Cameron Diaz was in the movie, my favourite actor is actually jude Law! He was actually a real gentleman, kept his composure and his jokes are classy, a ladies killer yet a responsible father! Perhaps, just too perfect, that no one like that would exist :P but watching that movie, and the character played by jack black and kate winslet both fell in love with someone who isn’t nice at all. ( nice, you said I use the adjective way too much. Sorry princess, I love that word:P). the know they fell in love with a mean bad person, yet, it is so hard to not love them. Love makes you go crazy, makes you do illogical things, it takes away all logic and reasoning, it makes you….blind.
Speaking of love makes you do crazy things…take a look at 50 first dates. I haven’t watched that movie before, its an amazing one now that I did. Again, this one made me even more emo. It just goes to show how much a guy is willing to do for a girl that he loves. So much sacrifices done by him, and even though he knows her memory might never return to normal, he never gave up. And yet, after all that he has done, she comes over one day and says, “ im breaking up with you”. It was in my honest opinion, cruel. Yes, she has a point, that her memory condition will prevent him from achieving his dreams, and it will only make his life harder every single day. But, that doesn’t give her the rights to decide what is good for him. She wants it so that he will be happy, but hey, did anyone ever ask him, what is it that he really wants? Maybe, all those dreams and ambitions of his, are not as important to him as her love. It could be just that simple. Just those lines like “ im not good enough for you” and “ you deserve someone better” actually really makes me wonder…did we ever ask for anyone better? No.. sometimes, you don’t have to be an amazing person…you just need to be you.. and for being yourself, someone will love you unconditionally. There is never an explanation for love, again, no logic or reasoning to it.
Love, can be truly amazing. I know if I want to, I can kill love within me, but it was so hard for me to even remember how love feels like, I don’t want to ever forget it again. I wont forget love, despite all the emo nights I have to go through, it is worth it to remember how love feels like.
The way you get to hold the person you love.
The way you whisper “ I love you” to their ears
The way you look at them and ask them every single time, “ how did you ever get so beautiful?”
Or
The way they react when they see you and didn’t expect you to be right in front of them.
The way you look at each other when she gets on the train back.
Waiting by the phone, for a text message to say “ hey I’m back, I miss you”
And
The times you have to think of more ways to surprise her
The dreams you had, and you call one another to talk about it
“ pls stay, 5 more minutes” …and perhaps, that will always be the sweetest line you ever want to hear. That mere 5 minutes, can make so much of a difference
And certainly
The way you kiss each other goodbye, and walk away on a different path, only to turn back again, to smile, and wave.
I miss all that. Yet, I know I can never love again. Never, again.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Definitely, Maybe
I dont know how to start..i just know i want to write.
I had an amazing day. it seems to be a regular thing that everytime i have fun, i'll be emo later. why is that, i do not know.
Sometimes, when you drive back alone, slowly in the night, rain drops falling on your wind screen, listening to certain songs, and for no apparent reason, you just feel... sad. While it might seem out of the blue, or just all of a sudden, but honestly, maybe the sadness was just bottled up all this time, and it comes out when it just can't take it anymore.
Have you woken up crying, not knowing what really happened? a bad dream maybe? have you been lying down, staring at the ceiling fan, just..staring at it.. or when you tuck yourself on bed, and you wish you could just wish someone good night, and you realize you don't know whom to wish so. And you end up just closing your eyes, and wishing that you never prayed to the shooting star that night. And when you can't sleep, you toss and turn on your bed, and you start crying without even knowing why, but even as tears run down your cheeks, you aren't sad. you know you aren't sad, but you just can't explain why you are crying. have this happened to you?
It is not because you aren't sad. You cry because you are sad, it is just that when you get sad so much, you end up becoming accustomed to it. Sadness becomes part of your life, it comes everyday, and you can go on with it everyday, since it has become a normal regular routine, just like the way you sleep.
I think i know what is wrong with me. Something really important has been taken away from me. Not Love, not Trust, not Friendship, it is Hope. Yes, it is Hope, it has been taken away from me.
I remember now, not so far back, i was telling myself, " why can't i look forward to doing something fun anymore?".... unconsciously, i stopped hoping for anything. I stopped looking forward to having fun, i stopped looking forward to being happy, i stopped hoping to ever be as happy as i was before, and today i did the right thing, i did not hope to get a hug :)
Of all the things to take away from me, it was Hope.
And honestly, i never really thought the extent of damage would go this far. It is true that i am happy often, but when i dig down inside, i know it is hollow. But i should not complain, im laughing and im surrounded by amazing people, what else i need? i do have what i need already, if i can live with sadness, living with emptiness isnt that so much harder. But honestly, i never thought the extent of my damage would be this bad. Everyday i try to suppress my sadness,and one fine day, something like this happens.
I got to thank a few people here. i'll thank atif nazir for creating fighters club. I can't sleep. I'm too afraid of dreaming anything at all. I'm just tired of waking up crying. and slowly,over the years, i've developed insomnia. I should really try sleeping pills, but at least, when im awake in the middle of the night now, i can still play this stupid game. And there are people like clarissa and lelani. They keep me company till i start sleeping off on my chair, and when i get to bed, i dont think of anything, i just close my eyes and sleep. Unless the rest of them who stay awake to play that game, im playing it because i stay awake.
i'll be forever indebted to Alexis. When VRS kicked me out, i've begged them to let me stay. I dont want to talk to anyone, i dont need to know new people, just please let me jump. It gives me something to do when i cant sleep, i remember begging so badly. haha... im glad alexis caught me at that moment, and brought me to elites. at least now, i keep myself occupied in the night.
But there are some things that i realized is true. Life is never a fairy tale, and a person can never love someone, and be loved back the same way. and honestly , i don't want to fight anymore. i don't want to continue walking through a dark tunnel, groping and finding my way not knowing what is the end. I'm going to stop here , i'll just sit down here in the dark, and wait for everything to end. I'm tired. I give up. Indeed it is true, my life has been decided when i prayed to the shooting star.
i gave you my hand and i trusted you. But you left me in the rain alone.
i hate the rain
I had an amazing day. it seems to be a regular thing that everytime i have fun, i'll be emo later. why is that, i do not know.
Sometimes, when you drive back alone, slowly in the night, rain drops falling on your wind screen, listening to certain songs, and for no apparent reason, you just feel... sad. While it might seem out of the blue, or just all of a sudden, but honestly, maybe the sadness was just bottled up all this time, and it comes out when it just can't take it anymore.
Have you woken up crying, not knowing what really happened? a bad dream maybe? have you been lying down, staring at the ceiling fan, just..staring at it.. or when you tuck yourself on bed, and you wish you could just wish someone good night, and you realize you don't know whom to wish so. And you end up just closing your eyes, and wishing that you never prayed to the shooting star that night. And when you can't sleep, you toss and turn on your bed, and you start crying without even knowing why, but even as tears run down your cheeks, you aren't sad. you know you aren't sad, but you just can't explain why you are crying. have this happened to you?
It is not because you aren't sad. You cry because you are sad, it is just that when you get sad so much, you end up becoming accustomed to it. Sadness becomes part of your life, it comes everyday, and you can go on with it everyday, since it has become a normal regular routine, just like the way you sleep.
I think i know what is wrong with me. Something really important has been taken away from me. Not Love, not Trust, not Friendship, it is Hope. Yes, it is Hope, it has been taken away from me.
I remember now, not so far back, i was telling myself, " why can't i look forward to doing something fun anymore?".... unconsciously, i stopped hoping for anything. I stopped looking forward to having fun, i stopped looking forward to being happy, i stopped hoping to ever be as happy as i was before, and today i did the right thing, i did not hope to get a hug :)
Of all the things to take away from me, it was Hope.
And honestly, i never really thought the extent of damage would go this far. It is true that i am happy often, but when i dig down inside, i know it is hollow. But i should not complain, im laughing and im surrounded by amazing people, what else i need? i do have what i need already, if i can live with sadness, living with emptiness isnt that so much harder. But honestly, i never thought the extent of my damage would be this bad. Everyday i try to suppress my sadness,and one fine day, something like this happens.
I got to thank a few people here. i'll thank atif nazir for creating fighters club. I can't sleep. I'm too afraid of dreaming anything at all. I'm just tired of waking up crying. and slowly,over the years, i've developed insomnia. I should really try sleeping pills, but at least, when im awake in the middle of the night now, i can still play this stupid game. And there are people like clarissa and lelani. They keep me company till i start sleeping off on my chair, and when i get to bed, i dont think of anything, i just close my eyes and sleep. Unless the rest of them who stay awake to play that game, im playing it because i stay awake.
i'll be forever indebted to Alexis. When VRS kicked me out, i've begged them to let me stay. I dont want to talk to anyone, i dont need to know new people, just please let me jump. It gives me something to do when i cant sleep, i remember begging so badly. haha... im glad alexis caught me at that moment, and brought me to elites. at least now, i keep myself occupied in the night.
But there are some things that i realized is true. Life is never a fairy tale, and a person can never love someone, and be loved back the same way. and honestly , i don't want to fight anymore. i don't want to continue walking through a dark tunnel, groping and finding my way not knowing what is the end. I'm going to stop here , i'll just sit down here in the dark, and wait for everything to end. I'm tired. I give up. Indeed it is true, my life has been decided when i prayed to the shooting star.
i gave you my hand and i trusted you. But you left me in the rain alone.
i hate the rain
Sunday, April 20, 2008
to GENTING!!
yeaps, despite saying i was bored of that place, i drove to genting with couple of friends, and in 2 cars. one of it being miloman. if you read the previous post, you will know how much of an ego i have with me when it comes to driving. worst still when miloman tells me " dont drive so slowly ok!?" LOL!!
so, we reached genting..started off wonderfully! the road was wet, but i could easily find the grip, lines and every braking and accelerating point easily. but as i was driving, miloman was just right behind, and the rain started pouring heavier, number of cars gotten more, and to make things worst, the tar the road up!! the new tar makes the grip much less, i was sliding EVERYWHERE! half of them time i was just trying to control the slide and to recover my line! it was stupid, horrible, genting sucks!!!
or was it genting :)? think about it.. that isnt the worst condition ever.. i've driven in gentings in heavier rain, when the roads where more wet. why did i lose control so many times? nah..vish stop blaming the road, it was me :) the entrance point, brakes, accelerator, everything should be different. .. i know this, why did i screw it up? maybe coz i was too arrogant, i believe if i push it a bit more,i can control the car still...in fact, yesterday was indeed my worst drive to genting! im never gonna do such a mistake again...never...
maybe coz having a car right behind me kinda sucks! i dont get that often, they either are far behind, of far in front :P so, when another car is right behind me, i did so many mistakes after mistakes! i am arrogant, i still have so much more to learn about genting roads. i'll just have to practice more, with another driver :)
i hope dixon gets a car that doesnt give him too much problems, and i got to get ah loong to practice his driving more. then, maybe its better :)
i kinda miss driving..its raining again.. and god knows for what reason,i went to read " dance in the rain with me " again. i feel stupid for doing that...
irreplaceable is true.. dixon would be fun, but he has other things to do. no idea where is ah loong at all, not even on MSN. eevon, well.. :)
alisha, no news. she didnt reply my message since yesterday:) clarissa stopped replying!
ahahahahhahah:D!!!!
im bored
its raining more...
so, we reached genting..started off wonderfully! the road was wet, but i could easily find the grip, lines and every braking and accelerating point easily. but as i was driving, miloman was just right behind, and the rain started pouring heavier, number of cars gotten more, and to make things worst, the tar the road up!! the new tar makes the grip much less, i was sliding EVERYWHERE! half of them time i was just trying to control the slide and to recover my line! it was stupid, horrible, genting sucks!!!
or was it genting :)? think about it.. that isnt the worst condition ever.. i've driven in gentings in heavier rain, when the roads where more wet. why did i lose control so many times? nah..vish stop blaming the road, it was me :) the entrance point, brakes, accelerator, everything should be different. .. i know this, why did i screw it up? maybe coz i was too arrogant, i believe if i push it a bit more,i can control the car still...in fact, yesterday was indeed my worst drive to genting! im never gonna do such a mistake again...never...
maybe coz having a car right behind me kinda sucks! i dont get that often, they either are far behind, of far in front :P so, when another car is right behind me, i did so many mistakes after mistakes! i am arrogant, i still have so much more to learn about genting roads. i'll just have to practice more, with another driver :)
i hope dixon gets a car that doesnt give him too much problems, and i got to get ah loong to practice his driving more. then, maybe its better :)
i kinda miss driving..its raining again.. and god knows for what reason,i went to read " dance in the rain with me " again. i feel stupid for doing that...
irreplaceable is true.. dixon would be fun, but he has other things to do. no idea where is ah loong at all, not even on MSN. eevon, well.. :)
alisha, no news. she didnt reply my message since yesterday:) clarissa stopped replying!
ahahahahhahah:D!!!!
im bored
its raining more...
Saturday, April 12, 2008
My Coke and My Ego
*shrugs*
to those who are in my blog and lazy to read all, read up accordingly.i divided the segments:P
*personal morning life with cars and coke*
my wake up call come from my taekwondo instructor. i forgotten i had a class today morning to coach! slept at 5am the night before, as usual, jumping like a mad fool. then,luckily i made it on time to the class! I bought coke in the morning. People say you shouldn't drink coke in the morning with an empty stomach..well, fuck it:P
was happily drinking coke and driving back, as usual, im never slow when i drive, especially when im alone. i just use the standard racing line, turn the corners while drinking coke. of course i cant go maximum 100%, but at least a 50%?
Then, as i was enjoying my drive and my coke, there was this suzuki swift try to poke me from the back. well, i was drinking coke, and it was a swift, so i thought, hell, i'll let him go. but he just continued poking me. fine, the ego kicked in, i thought of putting down my coke and disappearing from him...but...my heart was too heavy to let the coke go:S
i ended up trying to race a suzuki swift while drinking coke:S?
but he sucked, he didnt overtake me, he continued to stay at the back. LDP full of corners anyway, but swift is good in corners too, no? well, screw him. the difference between me and him should be clear, i dont care if he is behind me or not, as long i enjoy driving and my coke.
Then, as i was playing with the lousy swift, a golf GTi overtook the both of us in a corner. i kinda saw him, and had to let him keep the overtaking line of coz. the ego kicked in, i put the coke down, and gave chase. my logic, its downhill,its corners, heck, the savvy should be able to do something. well, i was naive:P
took him about 3 corners, the difference became real of coz, its a damn Golf GTi mark 5! but when i looked at the rear mirror, oops, mister suzuki swift is no where to be found :P
*****FC world****
SLFA had a sweep on burgers today. massive planning, group messages everywhere. i was kinda waiting for it:) was really looking forward to it. it was nice, amazing, pure wonderful fights. im not sure of the stats, but the fights was mostly close, separated by many less than 100 SC, it was one of the best sweeps ever. to me, a good sweep is where you fight, and not knowing you win or you lose:) and when you click to see the result, and you see you win, you feel so damn happy! that, is what so cool about being in fighters club :) that kinda fun actually disappeared in FC for a moment, burgers were so strong at their time, they dont even need to check if they won or not. but what happened today, was the best sweep ever done by any gang ever in FC, as far as i know. a sweep with 100% win and double the SC isnt a fight, thats bullying:)
but the fights turn out a bit ugly. HSB started saying SLFA gonna use fakes, and then, when HSB win a few fights, SLFA say HSB use fakes. We should seriously stop saying things about each other, and just enjoy the game:) coz we don't know for real, and if indeed any side cheats, well,they happy to win such way,then fine:) but, they not using fakes, they just got back their old friends to jump for that sweep. but yeah, i am not so sure myself, but i kinda assume BOTH sides were not jumping with 1 account :P many SLFA were online, they were all on MSN and stuff, of coz im never in their convo,i dont understand sri lankan language, so maybe they werent multiple jumping much,im not sure, but truly, salute and respect to SLFA for doing a good job! i am going to find out the organizer and give him a support fight, very very well done:)
anyway, day passed by. thats about it:)
its raining again:)
to those who are in my blog and lazy to read all, read up accordingly.i divided the segments:P
*personal morning life with cars and coke*
my wake up call come from my taekwondo instructor. i forgotten i had a class today morning to coach! slept at 5am the night before, as usual, jumping like a mad fool. then,luckily i made it on time to the class! I bought coke in the morning. People say you shouldn't drink coke in the morning with an empty stomach..well, fuck it:P
was happily drinking coke and driving back, as usual, im never slow when i drive, especially when im alone. i just use the standard racing line, turn the corners while drinking coke. of course i cant go maximum 100%, but at least a 50%?
Then, as i was enjoying my drive and my coke, there was this suzuki swift try to poke me from the back. well, i was drinking coke, and it was a swift, so i thought, hell, i'll let him go. but he just continued poking me. fine, the ego kicked in, i thought of putting down my coke and disappearing from him...but...my heart was too heavy to let the coke go:S
i ended up trying to race a suzuki swift while drinking coke:S?
but he sucked, he didnt overtake me, he continued to stay at the back. LDP full of corners anyway, but swift is good in corners too, no? well, screw him. the difference between me and him should be clear, i dont care if he is behind me or not, as long i enjoy driving and my coke.
Then, as i was playing with the lousy swift, a golf GTi overtook the both of us in a corner. i kinda saw him, and had to let him keep the overtaking line of coz. the ego kicked in, i put the coke down, and gave chase. my logic, its downhill,its corners, heck, the savvy should be able to do something. well, i was naive:P
took him about 3 corners, the difference became real of coz, its a damn Golf GTi mark 5! but when i looked at the rear mirror, oops, mister suzuki swift is no where to be found :P
*****FC world****
SLFA had a sweep on burgers today. massive planning, group messages everywhere. i was kinda waiting for it:) was really looking forward to it. it was nice, amazing, pure wonderful fights. im not sure of the stats, but the fights was mostly close, separated by many less than 100 SC, it was one of the best sweeps ever. to me, a good sweep is where you fight, and not knowing you win or you lose:) and when you click to see the result, and you see you win, you feel so damn happy! that, is what so cool about being in fighters club :) that kinda fun actually disappeared in FC for a moment, burgers were so strong at their time, they dont even need to check if they won or not. but what happened today, was the best sweep ever done by any gang ever in FC, as far as i know. a sweep with 100% win and double the SC isnt a fight, thats bullying:)
but the fights turn out a bit ugly. HSB started saying SLFA gonna use fakes, and then, when HSB win a few fights, SLFA say HSB use fakes. We should seriously stop saying things about each other, and just enjoy the game:) coz we don't know for real, and if indeed any side cheats, well,they happy to win such way,then fine:) but, they not using fakes, they just got back their old friends to jump for that sweep. but yeah, i am not so sure myself, but i kinda assume BOTH sides were not jumping with 1 account :P many SLFA were online, they were all on MSN and stuff, of coz im never in their convo,i dont understand sri lankan language, so maybe they werent multiple jumping much,im not sure, but truly, salute and respect to SLFA for doing a good job! i am going to find out the organizer and give him a support fight, very very well done:)
anyway, day passed by. thats about it:)
its raining again:)
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Elite Day Out !!
who would have thought that the 5th of April would have been such a fun amazing day:D?
for me at least, it was:)
started off not so greatly actually. woke up early to go to taekwondo, 8am to 12 noon, then back home, then lunch to to taekwondo again at 1:30 pm then by the time i reach home, it was 6:30 pm!
i reached home and rushed to get ready! well, honestly,i didn't. i made the biggest mistake,i went online...i opened facebook and stayed there for a few minutes. which turned out to be,about 20 minutes ....... checked my inbox, looked at fights, and the next thing i know, SHIT, im LATE!!!! i am suppose to meet alexis and irfan at 8pm!!
Time: 7:34 pm
Ran off, well no, i drove off as fast as i could to tan tze xiang's place ( See, im using your facebook name, so everyone will now know the famous " gangless jumper" :P) . Fortunately, tze xiang stays like 500 metres away from my house,and he has FOUR dogs!!!!!!
Time: 7:52pm
i was already approaching Daniel Fong's Place! i dont quite remember where is his house, so i told him to get to the nearest petrol station. at exactly when i was approaching the petrol station, Miloman called me!!!
" Vishul Walker...where are you la? " HELL! i hate making people wait!! i told him i'll be there shortly, and i rushed to daniel's place,only to find that, daniel took a whole 20 minutes to walk from his place to the petrol station!!!!!! ARGH!!! im late!! Alexis is SOO gonna kill me!!
she will use her superman and take away 7.0 years of my life!
Time: 8:20pm
daniel finally arrived! freaking hell slow guy!!!! i asked him " why so late!? were you JUMPING?" he said no of coz:P left and rushed,and here comes the amazing part, i got lost....seriously,i got lost on my way from his housing area to the highway. i could see the highway RIGHT below me, but i dont know where was the entrance! we made circles after circles, and FINALLY came to the correct place. daniel then opened his mouth and said " why didn't you ask me? i know how to get there.."
BASTARD:P tell me earlier then!!! we could have saved a lot of time!!
time: 8:35 pm
Miloman got impatient and called me, AGAIN. i felt like he was my girlfriend, he called me at least 25 times that night. why so many times? continue reading,you will know:P Miloman asked me for directions to the place,and he said he will get there by himself.Alexis was already there, i was so afraid she gonna sparta my ass off when i reach there. so, Alexis, miloman and irfan left first! i was suppose to be rushing, but me, tze xiang and daniel were talking crap in the car, we forgotten the fact that we were late:P ( this post is like a confession as to why i was a whole 50 minutes late:P)
time: 8:43 pm
miloman called me again, and said " vishul walker, i got lost. i cant find the place"
time: 8:48pm
met up with Miloman, irfan and alexis at a KFC nearby the restaurant we were suppose to have dinner:D! miloman's car was so awesomely cool! with metres and the number 13 and the blue vinyl, all just nice:D! alexis had problem parking her car:P and irfan disappointed me in a way.
i was expecting him to pop out with big wings!!! he didnt have them!! HMPH!!
time: 9pm
everyone met up and we ordered dinner. tze xiang and daniel introduced themself to the rest of them. Alexis didnt know daniel was already a SEG, she kept on saying " come! we can get someone to promote you to Super Elite!" LOL!!! daniel is a franky,what did you expect eh:P?
we ordered too much for us to eat! i did not eat the vegetables of course. Vegetables give me rashes and green spots, and my face gets bloated too. so, to prevent all this from happening, i did not eat vegetables. our table conversation was all about FC..and FC...more FC..FC again...then,arsenal liverpool..then FC..after that, we spoke about, YEAPS!! thats right ! FC again!!!!!
when the food arrived, we couldn't eat it! Alexis was busy catching pictures of the food, so we had to wait!! her camera is so awesome! ( currently tagged don yap). we had a group picture and all,i hope she uploads it soon enough!!!!
after dinner, we all drove to irfan's place! driving together was a disaster... me and miloman do not know the place exactly, we just made rough estimation.so, we decided to follow alexis. but then, my usual stupid driver ego popped out when a corner appeared and miloman was right behind me, so i overtook alexis and shoot threw the corner:P miloman followed, alexis, god knows where. to make things worst, we lost her at the toll booth too!!! great, so we have one walker who cant find the place, and a milo who doesnt know where is the place too. god knows where, i didnt realize, me and miloman got separated on the road too!
we reached a place called lagoon view. " yeaps, this is the place!" i told daniel:P i called alexis to confirm, and she said " lagoon perdana"....ok, this is what i get for trying to be smart and looking for the place myself. about exactly 30 seconds later,miloman called, with the same line.
" vishul walker, where are you? i am lost, and i am out of petrol" yeah of coz, so he had to leave us to fill up gas.
of course, the ever so smart intelligent vishul was able to find irfan's place:P i reached there, met up with wingman irfan and alexis, and we waited for miloman. he called me a few minutes later, and said " Vishul walker, i am lost"
i gave him directions, " at the first traffic light, left. second traffic light, go right. you will see us at the end of the road"
well,so,its simple. he should be here soon! Tan tze xiang said he is gonna go to 7 eleven, so i asked him to get me an Arjun Devatha, I MEAN, get me a can of coke:P Alexis got one too! so, thats 2 coke:D!!
Miloman called. " vishul walker, i got lost. after the first left, second one left again right?"
i was like, NO!!!!! dude,it is simple! first left, second right!!! how can you miss it man!!??!?!
i think it was my frustation while explaining, i dropped my coke:( i cried...well, i nearly did. i love coke so much, i love coke as much as i love ee von :P alexis should have caught my picture that time:P i was SO SAD AND DEVASTATED! its coke!!!!!! stupid miloman, he made me drop it. Alexis offered me her can, she said she cant drink anymore, i hesitated at first, but the temptation was too much,i took it :P * happy*
MILOMAN CAME:D! finally!! took him forever:P
we went to irfan's place! well, the place was AWESOMELY beautiful!!!!! i mean, it didnt look like a regular bachelor's house, messy and everything. it was clean, neat, the sofa was nice:P then, all of a sudden, something happened! it all still is a mystery to me! i really have no idea how, but the weirdest things happened! SO MANY elites popped into irfan house suddenly! oishee first came, then arjun did! in the form of a smashed up coke can:P Ali Azham got hungry and got himself stuck inside the fridge.
Gaurav then came! transformed himself into a pen, and he magically turned me into a one tree hill DVD cover!!!! my darling ended up being my handphone casing :P irfan got horny and started watching porn. Ben the Boss came then, and then he went on top of eric! ( gay gay gay gay gay) Nanda didnt want to miss the fun, so he tried to join us! but too bad for him, he couldnt make it to our room, coz he got stuck in the wall :P
well, we hanged out till 1 am. we went back home then. posted the pictures on facebook, and ended up becoming quite a hit :P LOL!
but did anyone realize? there are no real pictures of me in the gathering. why is that?
well,of course. this is because
I'm a Fake
:P
*****************************************************************************
Pictures posted here : http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=-3&id=682884656
for me at least, it was:)
started off not so greatly actually. woke up early to go to taekwondo, 8am to 12 noon, then back home, then lunch to to taekwondo again at 1:30 pm then by the time i reach home, it was 6:30 pm!
i reached home and rushed to get ready! well, honestly,i didn't. i made the biggest mistake,i went online...i opened facebook and stayed there for a few minutes. which turned out to be,about 20 minutes ....... checked my inbox, looked at fights, and the next thing i know, SHIT, im LATE!!!! i am suppose to meet alexis and irfan at 8pm!!
Time: 7:34 pm
Ran off, well no, i drove off as fast as i could to tan tze xiang's place ( See, im using your facebook name, so everyone will now know the famous " gangless jumper" :P) . Fortunately, tze xiang stays like 500 metres away from my house,and he has FOUR dogs!!!!!!
Time: 7:52pm
i was already approaching Daniel Fong's Place! i dont quite remember where is his house, so i told him to get to the nearest petrol station. at exactly when i was approaching the petrol station, Miloman called me!!!
" Vishul Walker...where are you la? " HELL! i hate making people wait!! i told him i'll be there shortly, and i rushed to daniel's place,only to find that, daniel took a whole 20 minutes to walk from his place to the petrol station!!!!!! ARGH!!! im late!! Alexis is SOO gonna kill me!!
she will use her superman and take away 7.0 years of my life!
Time: 8:20pm
daniel finally arrived! freaking hell slow guy!!!! i asked him " why so late!? were you JUMPING?" he said no of coz:P left and rushed,and here comes the amazing part, i got lost....seriously,i got lost on my way from his housing area to the highway. i could see the highway RIGHT below me, but i dont know where was the entrance! we made circles after circles, and FINALLY came to the correct place. daniel then opened his mouth and said " why didn't you ask me? i know how to get there.."
BASTARD:P tell me earlier then!!! we could have saved a lot of time!!
time: 8:35 pm
Miloman got impatient and called me, AGAIN. i felt like he was my girlfriend, he called me at least 25 times that night. why so many times? continue reading,you will know:P Miloman asked me for directions to the place,and he said he will get there by himself.Alexis was already there, i was so afraid she gonna sparta my ass off when i reach there. so, Alexis, miloman and irfan left first! i was suppose to be rushing, but me, tze xiang and daniel were talking crap in the car, we forgotten the fact that we were late:P ( this post is like a confession as to why i was a whole 50 minutes late:P)
time: 8:43 pm
miloman called me again, and said " vishul walker, i got lost. i cant find the place"
time: 8:48pm
met up with Miloman, irfan and alexis at a KFC nearby the restaurant we were suppose to have dinner:D! miloman's car was so awesomely cool! with metres and the number 13 and the blue vinyl, all just nice:D! alexis had problem parking her car:P and irfan disappointed me in a way.
i was expecting him to pop out with big wings!!! he didnt have them!! HMPH!!
time: 9pm
everyone met up and we ordered dinner. tze xiang and daniel introduced themself to the rest of them. Alexis didnt know daniel was already a SEG, she kept on saying " come! we can get someone to promote you to Super Elite!" LOL!!! daniel is a franky,what did you expect eh:P?
we ordered too much for us to eat! i did not eat the vegetables of course. Vegetables give me rashes and green spots, and my face gets bloated too. so, to prevent all this from happening, i did not eat vegetables. our table conversation was all about FC..and FC...more FC..FC again...then,arsenal liverpool..then FC..after that, we spoke about, YEAPS!! thats right ! FC again!!!!!
when the food arrived, we couldn't eat it! Alexis was busy catching pictures of the food, so we had to wait!! her camera is so awesome! ( currently tagged don yap). we had a group picture and all,i hope she uploads it soon enough!!!!
after dinner, we all drove to irfan's place! driving together was a disaster... me and miloman do not know the place exactly, we just made rough estimation.so, we decided to follow alexis. but then, my usual stupid driver ego popped out when a corner appeared and miloman was right behind me, so i overtook alexis and shoot threw the corner:P miloman followed, alexis, god knows where. to make things worst, we lost her at the toll booth too!!! great, so we have one walker who cant find the place, and a milo who doesnt know where is the place too. god knows where, i didnt realize, me and miloman got separated on the road too!
we reached a place called lagoon view. " yeaps, this is the place!" i told daniel:P i called alexis to confirm, and she said " lagoon perdana"....ok, this is what i get for trying to be smart and looking for the place myself. about exactly 30 seconds later,miloman called, with the same line.
" vishul walker, where are you? i am lost, and i am out of petrol" yeah of coz, so he had to leave us to fill up gas.
of course, the ever so smart intelligent vishul was able to find irfan's place:P i reached there, met up with wingman irfan and alexis, and we waited for miloman. he called me a few minutes later, and said " Vishul walker, i am lost"
i gave him directions, " at the first traffic light, left. second traffic light, go right. you will see us at the end of the road"
well,so,its simple. he should be here soon! Tan tze xiang said he is gonna go to 7 eleven, so i asked him to get me an Arjun Devatha, I MEAN, get me a can of coke:P Alexis got one too! so, thats 2 coke:D!!
Miloman called. " vishul walker, i got lost. after the first left, second one left again right?"
i was like, NO!!!!! dude,it is simple! first left, second right!!! how can you miss it man!!??!?!
i think it was my frustation while explaining, i dropped my coke:( i cried...well, i nearly did. i love coke so much, i love coke as much as i love ee von :P alexis should have caught my picture that time:P i was SO SAD AND DEVASTATED! its coke!!!!!! stupid miloman, he made me drop it. Alexis offered me her can, she said she cant drink anymore, i hesitated at first, but the temptation was too much,i took it :P * happy*
MILOMAN CAME:D! finally!! took him forever:P
we went to irfan's place! well, the place was AWESOMELY beautiful!!!!! i mean, it didnt look like a regular bachelor's house, messy and everything. it was clean, neat, the sofa was nice:P then, all of a sudden, something happened! it all still is a mystery to me! i really have no idea how, but the weirdest things happened! SO MANY elites popped into irfan house suddenly! oishee first came, then arjun did! in the form of a smashed up coke can:P Ali Azham got hungry and got himself stuck inside the fridge.
Gaurav then came! transformed himself into a pen, and he magically turned me into a one tree hill DVD cover!!!! my darling ended up being my handphone casing :P irfan got horny and started watching porn. Ben the Boss came then, and then he went on top of eric! ( gay gay gay gay gay) Nanda didnt want to miss the fun, so he tried to join us! but too bad for him, he couldnt make it to our room, coz he got stuck in the wall :P
well, we hanged out till 1 am. we went back home then. posted the pictures on facebook, and ended up becoming quite a hit :P LOL!
but did anyone realize? there are no real pictures of me in the gathering. why is that?
well,of course. this is because
I'm a Fake
:P
*****************************************************************************
Pictures posted here : http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=-3&id=682884656
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
great
12:36 am, i have exams tomorrow and i feel like writing,,
great..
haihhhhhhh
i just hate my life anyway.
it rained again, and its like a whole cycle repeating itself.
why do i always get lied to? i trust people too easily? or is it because people just love to
lie to one another?
it seems like, some part of human enjoys themself when they tell a lie, they feel happier that they are able to make someone believe the untrue words they say.
and to make things worst, i know its a lie, and i got to pretend its all true.
stupid right?
now, tell me. am i not suppose to hate my life?
great..
haihhhhhhh
i just hate my life anyway.
it rained again, and its like a whole cycle repeating itself.
why do i always get lied to? i trust people too easily? or is it because people just love to
lie to one another?
it seems like, some part of human enjoys themself when they tell a lie, they feel happier that they are able to make someone believe the untrue words they say.
and to make things worst, i know its a lie, and i got to pretend its all true.
stupid right?
now, tell me. am i not suppose to hate my life?
Friday, March 28, 2008
em :)
See, I'm a tell you like you told me
Cash rules everything around me
Singin' dollar, dollar bill, ya'll
(Dollar, dollar bill, ya'll)
Singin' dollar, dollar bill, ya'll
(Dollar, dollar bill, ya'll)
you got to hear the acoustic one, its amazing:)
akon actually spoiled the song:)
i've been a horrible friend lately..maybe its exams.
im actually expecting to fail a lot this time...but
hell,i dont care edy la..i'll just simply do.
anyway,i'll be done with my exams soon darling.
i promise i'll come back and teman you more:)
i miss you
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Rain
i just felt like writing...and it is so great that we can open up a blog so easily and so simply :)
its raining outside..and being me is very hard...more so if you are driving back in the rain listening to light and easy..and then, things come to my head, things i wish i'd never knew... how i wish...i was just like everyone else.
if it was to happen, that i'd never get what i always dream of, perhaps, well, it is fine. i just wish...things were much more simple than all this.
I'm very sensitive during the rain. Things come to my head, thing i so wish i never knew, things that would make me cry, how i wish...how i wish...
i give up:)
thats the only thing i can say... i really don't know what has been happening to me..
everything was amazing, perfect, wonderful. i went out with my fellow franky's last night..people i met online that i consider my own family, amazing fun people :) we drove all the way to melaka and steven was really nice to treat us all satay celup and a very delicious cake! we celebrated daniel's and josh's birthday! steven was the only one who turned out exactly like my imagination. josh ended up becoming such a big tall guy! haha..
piggy was certainly amazingly cute and sweet:D she looks 4 years old, ok no, 4 and a half. then steph was hot as usual:P haha.... was fun, really, despite the stress the exam does to me, i really enjoyed myself:) i have amazing friends, new, old, and an amazingly special friend who keeps me company all day long, thanks a lot von :)
i'll be better...writing makes me feel better. it will be...if i just continue writing and don't stop, i will be better. i hate the rain. i hate myself. i just want to go to sleep not knowing what is going to happen tomorrow. i'd so wish that i can just not hate the rain. Why am i like this, i do not know.
i.... i wish for so many things....
i just wish...pls..let me sleep. i don't want to wake up crying anymore...i don't even know why am i hurting... there is this big stupid wall right in front of me, and i cant see what is on the opposite side. but seeping out of the wall, little by little, there is so much sadness in it, so much pain.
its not me...isnt it? i sort of knew it.... i am surprised myself. Never thought it was still possible to know that you were sad...i'm tired... i'm sick of everything happening around me...
the entire world is full of evil... and i've only seen the outer layer of it. How can i take more pain? i never knew i am so weak... i should be fine when it involves myself..but i somehow find it more hurtful to know that those close to me are hurting.
Some people do not deserve to suffer. What did they do? god is such an idiot... why can't he punish those that are evil and leave the nice ones alone? they do not deserve it at all. And to make things worst...i cannot do anything.
if such is true...then...so be it. I'll be beside you when you are lying down on your bed...i'll be holding your hand.And doesn't matter how, i will make you smile...smile, till the very end. It is the only thing i could do. I just wish i never knew it.
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
~The Fray
How to save a life
its raining outside..and being me is very hard...more so if you are driving back in the rain listening to light and easy..and then, things come to my head, things i wish i'd never knew... how i wish...i was just like everyone else.
if it was to happen, that i'd never get what i always dream of, perhaps, well, it is fine. i just wish...things were much more simple than all this.
I'm very sensitive during the rain. Things come to my head, thing i so wish i never knew, things that would make me cry, how i wish...how i wish...
i give up:)
thats the only thing i can say... i really don't know what has been happening to me..
everything was amazing, perfect, wonderful. i went out with my fellow franky's last night..people i met online that i consider my own family, amazing fun people :) we drove all the way to melaka and steven was really nice to treat us all satay celup and a very delicious cake! we celebrated daniel's and josh's birthday! steven was the only one who turned out exactly like my imagination. josh ended up becoming such a big tall guy! haha..
piggy was certainly amazingly cute and sweet:D she looks 4 years old, ok no, 4 and a half. then steph was hot as usual:P haha.... was fun, really, despite the stress the exam does to me, i really enjoyed myself:) i have amazing friends, new, old, and an amazingly special friend who keeps me company all day long, thanks a lot von :)
i'll be better...writing makes me feel better. it will be...if i just continue writing and don't stop, i will be better. i hate the rain. i hate myself. i just want to go to sleep not knowing what is going to happen tomorrow. i'd so wish that i can just not hate the rain. Why am i like this, i do not know.
i.... i wish for so many things....
i just wish...pls..let me sleep. i don't want to wake up crying anymore...i don't even know why am i hurting... there is this big stupid wall right in front of me, and i cant see what is on the opposite side. but seeping out of the wall, little by little, there is so much sadness in it, so much pain.
its not me...isnt it? i sort of knew it.... i am surprised myself. Never thought it was still possible to know that you were sad...i'm tired... i'm sick of everything happening around me...
the entire world is full of evil... and i've only seen the outer layer of it. How can i take more pain? i never knew i am so weak... i should be fine when it involves myself..but i somehow find it more hurtful to know that those close to me are hurting.
Some people do not deserve to suffer. What did they do? god is such an idiot... why can't he punish those that are evil and leave the nice ones alone? they do not deserve it at all. And to make things worst...i cannot do anything.
if such is true...then...so be it. I'll be beside you when you are lying down on your bed...i'll be holding your hand.And doesn't matter how, i will make you smile...smile, till the very end. It is the only thing i could do. I just wish i never knew it.
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
~The Fray
How to save a life
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